"…And then he said, 'gouge!' and I said-"

"I think I'm going to name mine Polly-"

"I'm sorry, did you say gouge?"

"Polly, oh that's quite bloody original-"

"…No I quite prefer an eye patch to a hook-"

"Do you think that that's a real peg leg?"

"Eye patches and hooks, you can't really have one without the other-"

"Alright. Alright. Everyone hush up. I call the second meeting of the Pirate's Guild to order. When I read your name just answer 'arrh' if you're present." Manda banged the sword on the podium a few times to cut the chitchat in the small audience.

"Erynn?"

"Arrgh," came a throaty and well-practiced voice from the little curly haired blonde in the corner.

"Leesha?"

"Aaarrhh," the shorthaired brunette said waving a shiny dagger.

"Cory?"

"Meh...I mean, arrrr," the gaunt gothy boy said from the floor.

"Kristin?"

"Hehehehe arr hehe…" Giggled the skinny little girl who was breaking into the club's supply of rum and laughing uncontrollably.

"Justin?"

"Yeah, whatevah, arr," a husky northeastern boy said, pulling his baseball cap lower.

"Ok that's everyone. For our first order of business, Erynn, head of the pillaging and burning committee, will say a few words. Erynn, if you'll please come forward." Manda, the short thing in the red and black-stripped thigh-highs, and current Captain of the Pirating Guild handed the sword over to the curly blonde. Erynn was wearing a black handkerchief and eye patch. She stood and adjusted her torn up t-shirt and walked to the front of the room.

"Thank you. Thank you. Tonight I would just like to point out a few basic mistakes in the pillaging department. Right, well. The first, and foremost, is to pillage first, then burn. Now I know everyone gets a little antsy with the fire, but it's very important to take care of the pillaging first. Attention to detail here, mateys."

"Wait, what should we pillage, and what should we be burning?" Justin asked from the third row, perking up at the mention of fire.

"Now, I've had quite a few questions about that. Thanks for bringing it up. What is worth pillaging, and what should be burned, right? Well. Obviously any 'booty' should be pillaged. Any good food as well, dried and salted meats, good for the long sea voyage. Definitely."

"What about gold?" Manda asked, jotting down a few notes.

"Yes! Gold, that falls under booty."

"How 'bout diamonds?" Leesha said, suspiciously eyeing some of the other members.

"Uh huh, uh huh, more booty, good," Erynn said as she wrote the short list on the board.

"Mops?" Kristin said excitedly.

"No…no; mops would really be more something to burn. Good idea though."

"Jewelry! Or, you know, whatevah," Justin said, trying to play down his joy at coming up with a viable object to ransack.

"Yes, exactly. I think we're getting the hang of it. Just remember, pillage and then burn. I like to try a little rhyme that helps me to remember it, 'pillage the village, and burn in turn'. Lets all try it…" Erynn held up the sword like a follow- the-bouncing-ball sing-along.

"PILLAGE THE VILLAGE, AND BURN IN TURN."

"-Turn"

"Very good. Thank you!" Erynn smiled and handed the sword back to Manda, who was already walking to the front.

"Alright, next we'll hear from Leesha, our travel chair."

Leesha was a thin girl of average height. She had on blue running shorts and knee-high white and red striped socks and a pair of black combat boots. She waved off the sword Manda tried to hand her and held up the dagger.

"Good evening everyone. First off, I'd just like to say my hats off to Erynn for that wonderful presentation." At which point several of the crowd tipped their various head gear. "Now let's get down to it. The travel committee has some excellent ideas for field trips this year. We'd like to start off small by hitting a few of the sandbars off of the coast. That will give everyone some practice 'landing', and so forth. We have it tentatively planned for the weekend after next. If you can attend please raise your hooks… ok...one, two, three…ok six. That's everyone. Great! We'll have some excellent activities planned, such as a nifty treasure hunt that Kristin's been working on, and I've been working on putting together a little deck-swabbing contest. We'll be meeting at my house to pack everything up at 1700. Can't wait to see everyone there!" Leesha wrote her address and phone number up on the chalkboard for everyone to copy down.

"Thanks Leesha. Wow, it's going to be really exciting! Now I'd like to go over a few things about the guild's t-shirt design here. I thought something with stripes would be appropriate. Does anyone have any suggestions for color?"

"Blood red and black!" Erynn said, with such enthusiasm she almost fell out of the desk.

"Blue and white!" Cory's muffled voice came from under a table.

"Can we have stars? Heheh," Kristin asked, not really caring if it was answered.

"Staahs? What are we cowboys?" Justin's usual sarcasm slipped out.

"I think they should be orange and green. That would be awesome." Leesha said, mostly to herself.

"Orange? Are you crazy? Pirates don't wear orange! Green's all right. But we need to have black for sure! I mean, are we cold-hearted killers or clowns? C'mon now," Erynn said loudly, now kneeling on her desk.

"Clowns, cowboys. Really guys. You're all a buncha weirdoes. Everyone knows pirates wear red and white stripes. Its in all of the movies." Justin's temper was wearing thin.

"I rather like orange!"

"There's nothing wrong with blue, very sea-like."

"Who the hell wants green, such a dreadful color!"

"HEY! GREEN IS MY FAVORATE COLOR!"

"Black and red just don't go well together in my opinion."

Shortly a brawl ensued. The members of the Pirate's Guild waved knives and swords threatenly and shook fists and hooks alike. There were several chairs broken and quite a few eyes almost lost. It was good they were only almost lost, since the club had already depleted its eye patch budget. After about 10 minutes of vicious fighting and many idle threats of being forced to walk the plank, order was restored as Manda banged her sword on the podium, threatening to not hand out everyone's token parrot.

Everyone took their seat, some joined Cory on the floor because of having tossed their chair at someone. There was a low mumbling, still several unsatisfied lobbyers for various colors.

"Settle! Lord! Now look, how about we all make our own shirts, and then everyone can have their own color and patt'rn. Anyway, that looks far more piratey to the general public I think. Matching… well, that's for sailors!"

With this everyone was quite happy and cheered, jeered, and arrgh-ed. A few hooks were shook in general approval.

"Alright. All in favor answer say, 'arrgh'."

"AAARRGH."

"All apposed say, 'yer mother was a wench'." She paused, there were a few snickers from the floor. "Then that's the vote. Does anyone have any other business?" Manda looked around the room. The bunch were eyeing the cages in the back. "Ok, go a head and get your parrots. I conclude this meeting. We'll see everyone next week. Everyone be sure to bring your shovels, a yo-ho-hoe and a bottle of rum, as we will be having a lesson on burying technique."

"Oi, Polly, wanna cracker?"

"Drat, you think a spade'll do? I don't have a shovel-"

"I think Polly wants to peck yer other eye out-"

"Heh heh heh 'a bottle of rum' heh heh…"

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