It all started one scorching summer day … or was it a rainy spring day? I can't remember, it's not important anyway. There we were, dancing in the streets of downtown Stillwater in our hand-sewn dresses, smiling happily upon the wonderful residents of the high-class small town. Life was all so grand in those days. Neenybelle, Pibbers and I, Manda, were so young and innocent. We laughed and sang, the smallest wonder bringing us intense joy. We played among the antique stores and coffee shops that made up almost all of the downtown area. Stillwater was the birthplace of Minnesota. It was founded as a logging town, consequently everything had sort of a lumberjack theme to it. Main Street ran parallel to the St. Croix River. The river was such a huge deal to everyone there. Almost everyone had a boat, and everyone spent their summer weekends on the water, or along side it at Lowell Park. The park hosted every type of summer festival and event.
We were outside the "Old Mill", a three story antique store built inside of an old lumber mill on the far side of Main Street when it caught my eye. The lunchbox. I saw it in the store window, calling me, beckoning me nearer and nearer. I ran to it and pressed my face against the cold glass. Ah! It was bright yellow, with Sesame Street characters all over it. On the front, it had Burt, Ernie, Cookie Monster and Prairie Dawn. On the back, Big Bird was teaching the alphabet to Grover, Oscar the Grouch, and a few others. I couldn't stand the longing, the screaming of the lunch box. I had to have it. So, I forked out the cash (more than it was probably worth) and took hold of it. Oh the touch! I could feel the magic of it radiate and pulse, its brilliance surged through my hand into my blood and ran through my veins. I rejoined my friends to show them my new wonder.
We walked to Lowell Park and set the lunchbox before us on a crusty old picnic table. We surrounded the table, Pibbers, Neenybelle and I. Neenybelle, a tall, gothy girl with beautiful long red hair, stared wide-eyed at the box, envisioning all the things that could be put inside. Pibbers, who's real name was Libby, prodded it with a stick. The lunch box just sat, placid, centered on the table. She glanced up at me with her mouth open in a crazed smile. Pibbers often had on a crazed smile. I think the blue magic marker she used to color her eyebrows in to match her hair caused it. I calmly calculated the volume of it in my head. Lunch was never going to be the same.
"Pibbers, do you know what this means?" I asked.
"You won't have to use that old ammo can that makes everything taste like old metal to carry your lunch in?"
I blinked a few times recalling the nasty flavor my peanut butter and jelly sandwich had taken on.
"Yes, that too, but what I meant was…"
Whoosh!
Before our eyes the box opened and a deafening light escaped engulfing all that was near. I shielded my eyes but could not keep out the curious luminosity. It swirled and brought us all in closer, sucking us into its arms. The lunch box was eating us, plain and simple, damn I hate when that happens. So by this time we were all being painfully pulled into this tiny compartment for some unknown reason. Sounds of confusion flew from our mouths, screams, cries and giggles. Yes, giggles. It was pretty fun in some sense of the word.
POP!
The three of us crunched through the box and landed in a very strange little world that seemed to be completely made of food. We had found ourselves in what looked to be a river of clear Jell-O with hundreds of small goldfish frozen in place. I turned to see my dearest Pibbers, laughing at the top of her lungs, holding one of those cursed fishes in her hands. Neenybelle was helping me to my feet and pulling me onto dry land. The land was what seemed to be mounds of crushed cookies. Silly isn't it? Pibbers finally crawled out of the river and put her fish in her pocket, smiling nonchalantly. I turned around to look at Neenybelle who stood gazing at the wonders of this new world. Her face glimmered and she ran off. I watched as our dear Neeny plucked a large wedge of cheese from a near by hill and put it on her head. Everyone needs a good thinking cap.
I contemplated the willywonkaishness of this place. The landscape was composed of trees that grew sandwiches of various makes and hillsides of crackers, cookies and other lunchtime goodies. I was almost positive that the clouds in the sky were pink cotton candy. I looked to where we had fallen from and saw a small hole in sky. I knew that it was the opening of the lunchbox, and probably our only way out. At that moment, it chose to snap its lid shut.
After a few days of wandering about and chewing on mint wafer flowers, the novelty of the world inside of the lunchbox wore off. I could see Pibbers was growing frustrated and Neenybelle was upset with her cheese wedge hat. I was growing impatient with the tra-la-la happy music that seeped from everywhere. We needed to find a way home.
"Manda, do you think that maybe there's another lunchbox here or something that would take us home?" Pibbers asked on the verge of tears.
"Maybe. Keep checking the sky, my lunchbox could open again too. We might need some rope or something to climb on."
"We could head up that hill. It's quite tall really." Neen was ever the voice of reason. "Then we could get a good view on the lay of the land as well. Maybe there's a town, or a house or something. If we could find someone, anyone, who knew what this place is and how to leave…"
We all silently followed Neenybelle up the Cracker Jack hill. The view was wonderful, yet empty of a sign of life. No houses or buildings. No boats or docks on the Jell-O river. Just miles of food shaped like nature. Neen sank to her knees, throwing her hat to the ground. Pibbers kicked an egg salad sandwich that had fallen from a tree.
"This is hopeless! How are we going to get home? I miss everyone and… and… enough with the music already!" Pibbers screamed at the sky.
My anger and fear was overwhelming and I fell to the ground with Neen. What were we going to do? I had gotten us into this mess. If I just hadn't bought that lunchbox, we would be happy and safe at home. Now we were stuck in some crazy world, with no one and no way home. It was then that I felt a small tugging at my side.
"Excuse me?"
"Did you say something, Neen?"
"No, it wasn't me."
I looked down, how quaint, a small man. Scrubby in nature and a little hairy. I leaned down and picked him up. He started yelling rather colorful words at me and flailing his little arms and kicking his legs.
"Oh just calm down," I said as I held him up in the air, letting him stand in my palm.
"What in blazes are you doing here? Hmm?? You just take your large selves out of here and go back to where ever you came from!"
I tried not to giggle at the sight of this little fellow shaking his tiny fist at me.
"I'm sorry dear sir. We don't mean to intrude, but our journey here was rather unexpected. See we just sort of got sucked into my lunch box and well, here we are…and we're not sure really how to go about going back."
He looked a little miffed and vexed but soon his expression eased and he smiled at me.
"Well in that case, why don't you stay as my guests for a little while, then I shall take you to the Hallway of Doors and you can begin your search for home there. Now if you'd kindly let me down…"
"Oh, yes. Of course…" I set him a little ways in front of me and called Pibbers to come over. She hovered over him with a puzzled look. "This is…ah…I'm afraid I don't know your name."
"Fozie! I'm the brownie that guards Lunchbox Land. Now if you'd all kindly follow me." He started scampering off towards what looked like a forest of various deserts.
We spent the night lying on a grassy knoll. Well, it wasn't really grass. It was really alfalfa sprouts. We were on another high bluff that overlooked the Jell-O river. Fozie had a small house there. It came up to my knees, so sleeping inside was out of the question. We were quite comfortable really. All three of us were well fed and sleepy. Fozie had created quite a meal. There were sandwiches, so many sandwiches! All kinds and creeds! Of course I had to take all of the crusts off. I'm not much for the crust.
I looked over to Neenybelle who slumbered peacefully. She hid her face and the masses of deep red strands inside her hoodie sweatshirt. She had a love-hate relationship with her hair; it spurred poetry. She is an extraordinary creature. Almost a full head taller than me and covered in freckles. There was no way she could deny her Irish heritage. Her smile is sweet, and always gave the impression of withholding a secret. We were immediate friends upon our introduction the few months prior. Her outlandish imagination paired so well with mine, together we could create worlds.
There was a soft mumbling to my right. I rolled over and listened to the blue-haired pale thing next to me. She whispered words sung by butterflies in movies. I mouthed the words with her, knowing every line. Pibbers had grown up a few blocks from me, yet we hadn't exchanged many words until last year. I'm not sure why, perhaps I just wasn't ready to have someone so important to me in my life. She had been born with the blondest hair I had ever seen, and skin to match. Pibbers remedied this as quickly as she could with manic-panic blue dye and several shades of magic marker (always to match as the hair dye faded).
I closed my eyes and felt safe in this altered reality, far from home, but in the company of my dearest friends. For the time being I was completely content to stay where we were but I knew tomorrow would bring strange adventure, as Fozie would be leading us to the Hallway of Doors. There we would find our way home. Yes, things were pretty normal in the beginning. At the time, I had no idea that it would come to what it did. No, I smiled and slept soundly, dreaming of sugarplums.
The walls were white and it was uncertain where the light was coming from. The hallway was unending and covered with doors. Tall ones, short ones, wide ones, skinny ones, blue, green, yellow, plaid… They were covered with knobs, handles, doorbells, and various size and shape windows. This was going to be impossible. How were we supposed to find the right door in this maze?
Fozie, the little, scruffy brownie, had brought Pibbers, Neenybelle and me to the doorway leading from Lunchbox Land into the Hallway the morning after our meeting. He had been a gracious host, making sure we ate well, and had plenty of supplies to last us through to our journey home. He, himself, had never been through the door, which really looked like a large lunchbox lid turned sideways, so he could give us little advice on finding the proper entrance to take us home. All he could tell us was that we would recognize the door when we got to it. This was little consolation to the three of us, considering our inability to find car keys or even cars parked moments before. I got my bad memory from my mother, along with my inability to complete most sentences. Pibbers and Neenybelle just dismissed most things as unworthy of being remembered.
Neenybelle, Pibbers and I were best friends. At the time, Neen and I were 15 years old, and Pibbers was a year younger. We had been drawn to each other as though it were destiny. I had never met and because so close to anyone as quickly as I did these two. Neen was a tall redhead who wore too much mascara (to kill all the little micro-organisms that lived in her eye lashes she said). She was keen on painting, drawing and the like. She had a very artistic nature. Pibbers often drew a lot of attention to herself because of her bright blue hair. She had it so long, that I almost thought it was natural. It suited her colorful personality quite well. Pibbers had a bit of an obsession with Japanese Anime, particularly Sailormoon. It often leaked out and spread to those around her. I once stayed up all night watching each episode simply because she lent them to me. Not to mention the fact that all three of us had small negamoon tattoos. Neeny had done mine recently.
A few days ago I had purchased a vintage lunchbox/portal from an antique store in our hometown of Stillwater. Soon after the lunchbox sucked us into a strange world completely made of food. Since then the three of us had been trying to find our way home. Our best bet was to try various doors here in the Hallway.
We stood in front of a large wooden door with intricate carvings along the sides. Neen looked to Pibbers, who in turn looked to me. I shrugged. Neen sighed and reached for the large iron handle. We prepared ourselves for the worst. As the door opened I held my breath. What world would we find on the other side? After seeing hills of Jiffy Pop and rivers of Jell-O, I didn't know what to expect.
A lush, dense forest pleasantly met our eyes. It was enchanting. Each leaf seemed to glow. The ground and underbrush radiated. I heard both Neen and Pibbers awe at the site, I realized I was as well. A quick fluttering caught my eye. My first thoughts were that it was a hummingbird. But the little creature was a brilliant periwinkle. Glowing and pulsing. The little delicate wings flapped at great speed to keep the slender body in the air. The figure couldn't have been more than three inches tall. She was just perfect.
"A faerie! I can't believe it! She is so much more beautiful that I ever imagined!" Neen exclaimed. Many of Neen's drawings were of fanciful creatures. I have several of her renditions of faeries on my walls at home.
I wanted to step into that enchanted forest. I felt drawn to it. The trees, the flowers, the scents, the sounds. All of it was amazing. All of it drew me in. I felt my feet moving before I even told them to walk forward. It was like every part of my body was feeling the draw of the forest.
"Manda! Quick, grab her Neen!" I felt Pibbers wrenching my arm back. Neen's slender fingers dug into my shoulder, pulling my weight back through the doorframe. It was then that I saw that the one sweet little faerie had turned into a wild, gnashing pack of pixies. Bent on blood. They hissed and beckoned with their pinpoint, sharp teeth flared. Pibbers slammed the door shut, pressing her back against it.
"Christ, Manda! Didn't you see them? You were about to walk straight into their trap. Man, I knew pixies were supposed to be like, I don't know, mischeavious, but those things were down right vicious! Now, I've seen, and even participated in some strange things but this is definitely the weirdest. I don't know about this. Maybe we shouldn't try every door. Maybe we should just walk and look for one that's familiar. Or plain. Yeah, plain is good. I don't think I can go for much more of these surprises. Maybe like a nice closet door. Ooh…Did I tell you about that one time that I opened that closet door in my basement, back a few years ago…" Pibbers spoke rapidly telling a story that I, and most likely Neen, had heard at least 13 times. And although I knew what she was going to say before the words left her lips, as well as the sound effects she was going to use to extenuate the story, I never grew tired of her sweet little voice.
After trying just a few more doors and discovering much less interesting places than the den of pixies (such as a world totally comprised of Velcro), we decided it would be more efficient if we all tried separate doors.
Time seemed to lack all meaning as we opened doors, and in most cases, quickly shut them. I tried every other on my right, while Pibbers hit the ones in between. Neeny took care of the doors on the left, opening two at a time. And so the day or days went (none of us were really much for wearing watches).
We took another break and made the assumption that it was nighttime. We huddled on the floor of the hallway. Hopeless and hungry. The crumbs of landscape from Lunchbox Land had been depleted hours or days before.
"Have we tried that one?" Neenybelle asked.
"I don't know anymore." I said quietly.
"Open it, let's see. Hopefully it's not another underwater world." Pibbers said, still soggy from a blue metallic door that she tried awhile back. How could anything so wet and bothersome come from something so blue? It baffled her.
Neen stood up and took a brave stance in front of the door, and turned the knob.
The scene was horrific. War. Frantic, desperate, grim. War. The skyline was lit by far off fire. The burning light danced off of missiles flying fast through the air. Sounds of explosions and the drone of firing weapons filled our ears. I gagged as the smell of death and destruction filled my nostrils. A young soldier stood with his back to the door, weapon drawn. He was ragged and bleeding, on the verge of collapse.
"We have to help him!" Pibbers screamed.
Neen and I rushed forward to catch the boy. We lowered him to the ground. He looked at us, incoherent and unseeing. He wasn't much older than us, perhaps only eighteen. The skin on his face was smooth and his eyes were so bright. He wore a brown uniform, covered with a black camouflage design. On the collar, in intricate writing, was the word "Spud." I surveyed his wounds. He was bleeding heavily from a tear in his side. Looking closer I saw a deep flesh wound that seemed as though it were infected with some dark purple sludge. The sludge seemed to be growing in size and crawling across his body. I looked at Neeny who was biting her lip; neither of us had seen anything like it in our world.
"The door. The door must be…protected. They're near. They are…ruthless. We can not…allow them entrance into…other worlds." He coughed heavily and blood dripped from his lips. He looked at us, his eyes glazed.
"You're…you're the saviors! The prophecy lives!" He had another coughing spell. "Spud and glory…forever!" He grabbed for our hands. His eyes went blank. We knew he was gone. I had never seen anyone die. Or held them in my arms as life slipped away. I turned, eyes filled with tears. And yelled for my Pibbers. She jumped through the door and rushed to Neen and me.
"Is he…?" Pibbers started. Her voice caught in her throat.
"Yes. We have to protect the door. It was his last request." Neen said, determined. She picked up the soldier's gun and handed it to Pibbers. We searched for other weapons on the boy's body. There were a few knives and a handgun. I took the handgun and Neen, the knives. I inspected the gun in my hand.
It wasn't an ordinary handgun. It was in fact, a spud gun, or potato gun, whatever you call it. "Potatoes?" I looked at Pibbers who was making the same discovery of her weapon.
Suddenly, a wretched noise came from our right. It sounded like a massive car accident, metal colliding, screeching and screaming. I turned, afraid to see what it was. I almost doubled over, startled. It was a giant eggplant. Only it was alive. It had seething yellow eyes. Its mouth was open and full of razor sharp teeth. Its arms were black, long and thin. And it didn't quite have a constant number of fingers on each hand. He was running, or rather waddling, at full speed with his little skinny, yellow and orange striped legs.
BANG.
The eggplant stopped dead in its tracks, grabbed its stomach (or what I assumed to be its stomach) and doubled over, screaming in agony. I lowered the spud gun to my side, and shivered. Whatever this evil thing was, it was dead.
"Jesus, Manda, where did you learn to shoot like that?" I heard Pibbers' voice from behind me.
"I don't know. I just did it."
Neen and Pibbers walked over to the carcass and kicked it a few times.
"Eggplants. I always knew they were bad." Neen said with disgust.
It was the first act of battle any of us had been in. We were only teenagers for Pete's sake. But looking at the body of the dead monster, and our fallen soldier, I knew that it wouldn't be our last tonight. And truthfully, it would not be our last for years. The sky still glowed red with war. More would be coming to try to get through the door and we had to see to it that no one got to it. I looked to Neen and then to Pibbers. They read my thoughts and nodded.
"Let them come and try to take this door." Neen said with bitterness.
As if on queue, we heard a large mass approaching from the forest. Pibbers raised her weapon and turned. I held my handgun ready to take aim as soon as one of those bastard eggplants dared to show itself. Neen took a few practice swipes with her knives. Judging by the look on her face, I did not envy the enemy that got within arms length.
The first wave went quick. I shot three before they even made it out of the trees. Pibbers blasted about five away with deadly accuracy. Neenybelle yelled obscenities at them. I wasn't sure how many shots I had left, the spud gun was a strange piece of equipment. I picked a few more off as they slithered forward from the underbrush. I knew that soon enough, we would be face to face with the evil horde. Pibbers shot eggplant after eggplant, but they kept coming. Neen ran forward to meet the nearest one head on. It grabbed her right wrist and held tight, screaming. I saw her wince and drive the blade in her left hand through its gut. They were coming closer and I was out of shots. Pibbers was able to shoot one more before her weapon gave out. I made a quick assessment. There were 10 eggplants left in view. Make that nine, Neen pulled her knife free and threw the body to the ground.
The eggplants were on us, and I swear I heard dramatic music somewhere in the background. It was a brutal fight. All three of us fought desperately and inexperienced. I killed one with a swift kick followed by a knock to the head with my handgun. Another was in its place before the body hit the ground. It engulfed me, being much larger than the last. I swung the handle of the handgun as hard as I could into the beast as it tried to push me to the ground. It stunned him long enough for me to scrambled out from under him and gain the upper hand. I pummeled him repeatedly with the spud gun until eggplant matter oozed through my finger. Neen's screams brought me out of my trance just as I was torn back off of the eggplant by long, black, greasy arms. The gun flew out of my hands. Pibbers was saying something. I saw her blood and slime spattered face turn to look at me just as another vicious creature pounced on her. I had no idea if we were winning or how many eggplants were left. I wrestled with the one holding me from behind. I kicked, I screamed, I bit. Anything to get free. Finally, with an explosion of pure adrenaline I ripped through the eggplant's grip. I stumbled to the ground and crawled as quickly as I could away. I needed something, anything that would inflict damage. The eggplant grabbed my legs and flipped my body around. Its hands circled my knees and started to pull me back towards itself. My arms flailed, fingers digging into the dirt. But it was much stronger than I and I was being pulled back at an alarming rate. Then my hand came across something. I felt the lumpy cold shape in my hand and knew that it was more than enough. Screaming at the top of my lungs, I lobbed the potato directly at the disgusting face of the eggplant. It shattered into a million pieces of purple sludge. I fell back to the ground exhausted.
"Neen… Neen! Pibbers?" I rolled to my side and scanned the carnage for my friends. I saw a pale arm reach out, followed by a thin weary frame. Her bright blue hair stained with violet slime. She smiled at me weakly, whipping some of the mess from her face. Neen sat among the dead, mumbling to herself and cleaning the goo from her knives. I climbed to my feet and walked over to her. She looked up at me, and I saw her face had been cut badly. All of us had been injured. Pibbers was limping, her leg bleeding through her clothes. I had hardly noticed the lacerations across my arms and back, but now they made themselves painfully aware. We pulled Neenybelle to her feet and walked towards the door.
We took great care in setting up our bunker once our wounds were dressed. There was already a ring of sandbags around the doorframe. We tried to dig it out a little deeper with the few tools at hand. It looked like that Spud soldier had been the last one here for quite awhile. It was hard to think he stood here alone, guarding the door without any aid.
"Manda, Pibbers, look at this," Neen spoke quietly.
She had uncovered a sack of potatoes. Potatoes. Ammunition. We searched for the discarded spud guns and found them a little ways off from the body of the eggplant that I had shot first. Pibbers quickly reloaded her gun and passed me the sack. I readied my weapon and handed Neen a few to put in her pockets. We were ready for what the rest of the night would bring. Each of us taking a position along the sandbag wall. I had my weapon drawn. Pibbers practiced taking aim with the larger potato gun. Neen had a knife in one hand and a spud in the other.
Tonight, the door was safe. Tonight we stood guard.
Part 3: Spud and Glory Forever
I curled up by the warm fire shielding my face from its heat. Neenybelle, the freckle-faced girl to my right had built it so we could take turns sleeping while the others stood guard. We were protecting the door leading into the Hallway of Doors, a strange phenomena that allowed entrance into other worlds. Pibbers, Neen and I had come through the door only yesterday in the early evening.
It seemed like we were leading a totally different life now, than that of the typical young teenagers we were only a week before. Instead of going to school and passing notes while teachers spoke, we found ourselves taking the place of a young soldier who died trying to keep the monstrous eggplants from breaking through the door.
There had been a ferocious battle with a pack of the savage beasts just after our arrival, leaving us worn and wounded. Regardless, we stood guard the rest of the night without incident. When the sun rose, we hoped we would be able to rest, but fighting continued in the distance and our guard could not be let down. So, we took shifts during the day, allowing each of us to sleep for a few hours.
The night was upon us again and I had just lain down to nap for an hour. I drifted off into dreams of home. Wishing that we were far away from this mess, this brutal battle we knew so little about. Pibbers began shaking me frantically.
Pibbers was quite an eccentric girl. Her voice brought vague recollections into my unconsciousness of late nights we spent drinking coffee in the local Perkins restaurant, engaging in elaborate philosophical conversations. Now, in my old age, I often think of those times fondly, I see her sitting across from me smiling and giggling and explaining the concept of 'noodle people'. Yes, those were certainly the days.
"Manda. Manda wake up. Something's coming." Pibbers whispered.
I sat up quickly and followed her towards the door. I crouched on the right, with the spud gun in my hand. Neen kneeled on the left, with both knives ready. Pibbers lay in the center with the larger spud gun, taking aim over the few sandbags that made a barricade around the doorframe. There was a quiet rustling in the woods just before us. We waited and watched for whatever it was to appear. It was moving very slowly, each step calculated. But we were ready. A dark figure crawled out from the underbrush. It was moving in our direction.
"Oh no. What is it? It doesn't look like an eggplant," I heard Neen whisper.
Several other figures began streaming from the woods. The first figure was almost on us. It would soon be to the fire. The flames lit a small radius of the night; I hoped it was enough to recognize the figure as a friend or foe. I saw a face, the flicker of eyes, and a uniform that matched that of our fallen soldier. The crawling figure was human, not eggplant. I let out a sigh of relief.
"It's alright! We're friends! We're guarding the door in place of a soldier who died." I said clearly to the night. The forward soldier stopped shortly. He held up his hand to stop the others from moving forward. He was probably expecting a trap. I guess I would be too if I were in his place. I stood up and dropped the spud gun. I motioned for Pibbers to do the same. She followed my lead, as did Neen. We stood with our hands in the air. I hoped that would be enough.
The figure paused for a moment, and then turned back to look at his men. He held up two fingers and motioned forward. Two figures from his right stood up and ran toward us. They were young men in completely brown uniforms. They were torn in a few spots and covered thickly with mud. Each carried a weapon that resembled that of the gun Pibbers dropped. They split off and approached from different sides.
Once they felt they had secured us, and we weren't a threat, the lead soldier stood up and motioned for the rest to follow. He walked over to us, stumbling slightly. He was injured and bleeding. As it seemed most of the soldiers were. I looked him in the eyes, unable to tell what he was thinking. I did the only thing I could think of, I said loudly the words of a dying man. "Spud and glory, forever."
The man smiled and laughed. He turned to his soldiers yipped. They shouted in return, "SPUD AND GLORY!"
He continued laughing and picked me up with his great big bear arms. He spun me around a few times and set me back on the ground, kissing my forehead.
"You wonderful, wonderful girls." He picked both Neen and Pibbers up in the same manner, rejoicing in our presence. "We had expected the Door to fall. The radio went silent yesterday morning and the last report we had was that one soldier was left. He was calling for reinforcements when the radio cut off. We got here as quickly as we could. Headquarters is only about 12 clicks to the East, but those… those wretches were fighting us the whole time. This door and a few other regions are the last things left. The Eggplant hordes have taken over almost everything," he spit angrily at the last statement.
"I'm Manda, this is Pibbers and Neen. We were attacked by a group of them earlier in the night. When we came through the door, the soldier had just been hit badly. He died shortly after. He asked us to stay, to help. What are these things? What's going on here?" I asked.
"My name is Lt. Bell. But everyone just calls me J.J." He slung his spud gun onto his back and pulled out a pack of smokes from his chest pocket. J.J. took out one cigarette and threw the pack to another soldier. After lighting it and taking a long drag he continued speaking. "You are in a country called Spuddina. It previously was a land of peace and prosperity. But then…then the eggplants attacked. They're the natural enemy of all things potato of course. We were totally unprepared. They had been gathering on an island off the main coast, totally unknown to us. And in one swift move they took half of the main land. Potatoes are the only things that really stop them. Thank Spuds we have a huge supply." J.J. looked at us, seeing if we were taking all of this in. He took another drag on the cigarette. "Ok. Here's all you really need to know for now: Eggplants are evil, potatoes are a Spudsend. We'll spend the rest of the night here and bring you three to headquarters when it gets light. Get some sleep."
With that J.J. walked away from us and started organizing his soldiers. He was tall and had a husky build. His dirty blonde hair was long and pulled back into a ponytail. It was obvious he was quite battle fatigued, with his bloodshot and tired eyes frantically scanning the woods. J.J. pointed at a young man and woman, directing them to form a perimeter. Watching him, I felt that we were in safe hands. He and his soldiers would protect us as well as the door from any danger. Pibbers, Neenybelle and I curled up next to the fire and took a well-needed rest. Tomorrow we would learn more about this strange world and its struggle, in which we were intertwined.
Part 4: Spud Headquarters and What We Found There
The Spud Headquarters was definitely a site to see. It was a large fort perched on a bluff at the junction of three rivers. We had to climb up the steep side of the hill. The spud soldiers helped us a bit on the way, as we were all wearing sandals and not entirely appropriate climbing gear. When we reached the top, we took in the full view the fort. The walls were at least 50 ft tall, and made of thick rock. There was one main gate that consisted of a large metal door with two sets of fencing before it. I could see two guard towers from where we stood, both equipped with large cannons, which I assumed shot potatoes. There were two guards in each, all watching us intently.
J.J. stopped at the outer perimeter fence and spoke with the guard station. From the station it was about a two minute hike up the rough terrain to the main gate. The door opened slowly, only just enough to allow us through. Inside there was a bustling of people, hurrying every which way. There were soldiers and civilians alike. J.J. explained that when the towns surrounding the complex were taken over, the residents fled to the safety of the fort walls. They did what they could to help the soldiers, many even joining the forces. The faces of the people looked tired, I could only imagine how they felt, some of them fighting for years.
J.J. brought us to a building located on the right of the complex. It was a storehouse filled with various supplies. A middle-aged woman was sitting at the counter in front.
"Hey Vern," J.J. said with affection.
"Well, hello there Jay. What have you brought me?" She smiled pleasantly, fixing up her frizzy red hair.
"These girls here could use a change of clothes. Something a little more useful. They were at the Door." J.J. said the last sentence softly through closed teeth.
"Oh…Oh! I understand. Alright ladies, come back with me please." Vern got up from her counter and started walking toward the back of the building. We followed without saying anything, Neeny first, myself and then Pibbers.
Vern started pulling out shirts and pants from a large shelf. They were Spud fatigues, like all of the soldiers wore. The sizes she handed us were exactly right, she must have been giving out uniforms to new spud soldiers for years.
"Those should work nicely. Lets get you guys some boots as well, those sandals won't do." She walked around the end cap of the isle and started scanning the racks of shoeboxes. "Here…we…go." She said as she reached and grabbed three different boxes and handed them to us.
We followed her around to different parts of the storehouse, piling on various accessories and equipment. When all was said and done we looked like real Spud soldiers, covered in fatigues, belts, backpacks and spud guns. I had kept the handgun we had used to protect the door, but Pibbers traded hers in for a larger piece of artillery. We walked back to the front, thanking Vern for her time in helping us get outfitted properly.
J.J. was still waiting for us by the counter, in deep conversation with a young girl, who looked about our age. She was wearing a set of fatigues as well, only they seemed three or four sizes too big. Her hair was crazy blonde and orange and sticking out from her helmet. They both were smoking and laughing. We walked up and J.J. turned to us.
"Well, look at that. Mmm mm mm. You guys look quite the soldiers. " He smiled and then motioned to the girl, "This is Sgt. Bell, my sister."
"You can call me Blandie." Sgt. Bell said extending her hand to us.
"I'm Manda," I shook her hand.
"I'm Neenybelle. It's nice to meet you Blandie," Neen said.
"Pibbers."
After we were all introduced, J.J. stood up straight and looked at his watch. "We better go. Ma! Hey, Ma! We're going. Thanks for the help." J.J. yelled to Vern, who peeked out from around a shelf.
"Oh, ok, then. You kids have a good time. Blandie will you been home for dinner?"
"Ahh Mom." She rolled her eye, "I don't know. We'll see. I'm assigned guard duty for them," she said pointing at us and smiling. This is how we became friends with the famous Blandie Bell. From that day on she would always be at our side, through thick and thin.
J.J. and Blandie lead us out of the storehouse and across the way, into another large building. This one seemed too more official like. There was a desk out front in sort of a lobby. The place was a little bit of a mess, but this was war, what could you expect. J.J. stopped at the desk and picked up the phone. He dialed a few numbers and spoke quietly with his back to us.
"So, I heard they found you guys at the door. Is that true?" Blandie asked, smacking gum in her mouth.
"Yeah, we came through the door the other day and took over guarding it. Your brother and his men came across us yesterday and brought us with them here. I think a large group of them stayed behind to protect it, though." I told her.
"Wow. So you are the ones then. That's so cool!" Blandie said happily.
"I'm sorry, the ones what? What does that mean?" Pibbers asked with a look of confusion.
"Oh-" She started wide-eyed.
"Let's go, c'mon," J.J. interrupting and holding the door to a hallway open.
We found ourselves in a great conference hall. There was a long table down the center, and a large set of doors on either side of the room. Sitting at the table were several men and women, some in uniforms some in regular clothes, they all turned to look at us. An elderly man in a long robe stood up and walked over.
"Hello. I am President Shallas. The current leader of Spudina. These are my government and military advisors. We've been waiting for you," he said as he shook our hands.
"Us? Why? What did we do?" Neeny asked.
He looked to J.J. and then to the table of officials.
"I think its time we take them to the Spud Sanctuary. It's time they knew the truth."
The great door opened and inside stood a beautiful church. Simple, but warm. The walls were covered with covered with thick, soft fabrics. There were tall, thin windows lining the sides, all in brilliant colors. At the center of the front stood a single wooden alter. On it, was simply, a stone carving of a potato. Behind the alter was a large tapestry hung on the wall. President Shallas walked up the center isle, motioning for us to follow. He stopped in front of the tapestry and turned to us.
"It was prophesized hundreds of years ago that in a time of great need, when truly the fate of Spudina, and all worlds would be in grave danger, a triad would be sent from another place and time, to save all. He pointed up to the triangle in the center of the tapestry, on the corners of the shape were three colored circles. "Blue, red and gold." He pointed to each, an then pointing to Pibbers, Neen and myself, "Blue…red…" He put his hand out, holding the end of my hair, "and gold." How very primary. He paused for a moment to allow what he had just shown us to sink in. "We long since believed that you would come through the Door, being a portal to other worlds. It was discovered 50 years ago and has been guarded ever since. We have waited your arrival for a very long time. Ever since this war started, I knew that this would be our time of need. And here you are, our saviors." The old man smiled and clasped his hands.
"Us? Us? But… but… we can't even drive yet…" Pibbers stammered.
"How can this be? We don't know anything about war, or these eggplants… I don't understand…" Neen went on.
"This is too much, how are we supposed to save you?" I looked at the President for some idea of what all this meant.
The three of us took this as quite a large shock, being that we were only kids, who only a few weeks ago, had no cares in the world. All we worried about was what we were going to wear to school in the morning, whose house we were going to hang out at and which movie to go see Saturday night. This was crazy, this couldn't be right.
Neen gripped an arm of a bench and sat down. She looked as though she were deeply reflecting on the matter. I sat down beside her and Pibbers next to me. The Spudina officials looked at each other puzzled. They had expected us to be happy, to know what to do, to start giving out orders and taking control. We were not the saviors they had anticipated. The old man shook his head gently and stopped them from speaking. He ushered them out of the sanctuary and told them to give us some time alone, here, to reflect. He shut the doors quietly behind him.
None of us said anything for about a quarter of an hour. We just sat and stared up at the tapestry. The giant triangle with the circles that were supposed to represent us. A triad. A triad to save the world. I stood up and walked up to the alter.
"Are we ever going to be able to go home?" Pibbers asked with a soft voice.
Neenybelle reached over and put her arms around Pibbers. "I don't know dear, I don't know what's going to happen."
I placed my hands onto the potato carving. The stone was cold to the touch. It was a beautiful carving out of polished granite. Such a strange little world with its strange worship of potatoes. I suppose no stranger than some of the beliefs in our world. I guess not every god has be created in man's image.
SWOOSH
My hands had crossed over the entire stone potato and suddenly a glow radiated from the entire object.
"What did you touch, Manda?"
"I dunno, it just, it just happened."
The light grew so bright we all shielded our eyes. Then as suddenly as it appeared, it died. When I opened my eyes I found we were no longer in the confines of the Spud Sanctuary. We were in what looked like a wall-less, ceiling-less black void. The three of us stood around the alter with the carving, the only objects in the space.
A warm feeling washed over all of us. Nothing was said, only felt. Ideas and images were placed in my mind. Thousands of years of history, life and death of hundreds of worlds. I knew now what had to be done, what I had to do. What we all had to do. The eternal battle for the hearts and minds of man, the battle of good verses evil rested with us. Armed with knowledge and perseverance of all those that came before us, we joined hands and willed ourselves back to the soft light of the sanctuary.
We walked through the doors to find the officials, J.J. and Blandie still waiting for us. All they had to do was look into our eyes to know where we stood, to know our feelings. We were ready.
The great doors to the conference hall burst open. A Spud soldier covered in blood fell through and tumbled to the ground. Looking up at us he screamed, "The Door! The Door has fallen!" His eyes rolled back and he slumped to the floor, dead.
Part 5: Broken Doors, Broken Hearts
The door was in shambles. There were splinters and bits of broken wood all over the ground. The hinges were ripped from the frame and hanging loosely from the door. It was a massacre. Once a beautiful entrance, which we had fought so hard to protect, now just a broken hole in the dimension.
I pulled my hair back, wiping sweat from my brow. We had ran most of the way from headquarters when the news came. The door had fallen. The swarm of eggplants had murdered the guards mercilessly before they could call for help. I couldn't believe that Neeny, Pibbers and I had stood here just a week ago, unwittingly involving ourselves in a battle for the heart and soul of every world in existence.
"No. No. No… " Pibbers whispered.
"All for nothing… it was all for nothing…" Neenybelle stood shocked looking from the door to the bodies.
"He died for nothing… they all did." I thought of the lone soldier who died in our arms, bestowing upon us the duty to guard the door.
"Now they're escaping into other worlds…we need to do something," Pibbers said.
"We can't allow them to destroy worlds…and lives, like they did here." Neen looked to me and then to Pibbers.
"We have to make sure they haven't made it to our home yet. We have to check," I said.
I turned to J.J., who was just staring hopelessly at the bodies of his soldiers. He reached down and grabbed one's hand, pounding his fist into the ground and unleashed a cry from deep within his body. Neen ran to his side and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
"I'm sorry J.J. I'm sure they fought as best they could. We won't let their deaths be in vain. There's nothing more we can do here, you know that. We have to go into the Hallway, we have to destroy them before they reach our door, our home."
J.J. nodded. He knew she was right. Most of the invading forces had left through the door. The Spudina armies would be able to control what was left here and begin rebuilding the country. We told him that we would return after checking on our home, to start task forces to go into the other worlds and search for the rouge eggplants.
Pibbers picked up the packs we were given at headquarters with survial gear and supplies. She handed one to me and one to Neeny. We said our good-byes. It was hard to leave J.J. in such a state, but we knew he would be fine. He had seen a lot of war in his time, and this was no different. He would recover and begin to put things back together on this end of the door.
Neenybelle climbed into what was left of the doorframe and reached out to grab my hand. She hosted me up and I walked into the Hallway. Neen grabbed Pibbers in the same manner and we were all in the Hallway.
"WAIT!"
We turned back to see Blandie running towards the Door. She had been helping the other Spud soldiers get organized, when she heard us say good-bye.
"Wait-" She huffed, out of breath, "I'm coming with you."
"Blandie, no!" J.J. grabbed her arm.
"Jay, I need to go. They need someone who knows the Eggplant's tactics. Someone who can anticipate their next moves. You're needed here, I'm not. Let me go."
He released her arm, and they embraced, both unleashing tears.
"Please be careful Blandie…don't…don't do anything stupid, ok?"
"It'll be ok Jay. We'll be back soon."
He squeezed her tight and released her. He dug a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and put them in hers. "Take care of them," he nodded towards us.
> Blandie turned and ran the rest of the way to the door. Neen grabbed her hand and pulled her up onto the floor of the Hallway. We took one last look at Spudina. The war torn country-side was scattered with the bodies of Spud soldiers and the decaying mush of eggplants. Our mixed feelings pushing us to move on.
The scene in the Hallway wasn't much better that it had been in Spudina. The doors within view were all torn into. I couldn't begin to think of the havoc the eggplants were reeking in those worlds. We checked every door. None were the door to our home. We started to walk through the Hallway, carefully, not knowing if we should expect an ambush or not. I mentioned that maybe it would be a good idea to have our weapons handy. Just in case.
We walked for a good hour, every now and then coming across more torn up doors. The eggplants' rampage seemed very random. Still, none of us had a clue about what to look for to find the door home. I just hoped that one of us would recognize it soon.
It was then that I saw a faint glowing neon sign at the end of the hall. The sign was above a door, a door that stood ajar, its handle ripped off. The sign was blinking on and off, sputtering and finally died. It was on long enough though, for me to make out what it said. The sign read, "Home".
I ran the length of the hallway screaming and crying.
"No. Noooo…No! This can't be this can't be…"
I collapsed in the doorframe, tears streaming down my face. Our world had changed. Stillwater was dark and dismal. The sky was a dark purple. Everyone and everything were tinted orange. It was like watching a bad flash back. There was no sound. Or maybe my ears were just ringing too loudly to hear anything else. Neen pressed her back to the doorframe and sank to the ground, crying out silently. Pibbers took my hand and supported herself on the other side of the door, fighting back the impulse join us on the floor. Blandie stood behind us, thinking of her friends and home, sharing in our grief. We were all in tears, everything that we knew and loved was infected with the eggplants. Our home was dead, and we were the only ones to know.
Excerpt
...
I looked down a moment to the symbol on my now sleeveless t-shirt I had on over the mesh, a symbol representing the only hope our home had. A potato.
"What will be our next move?" Neenybelle, who stood to my right, asked.
"Manda, I think it's time we moved to the school. I expect there will be quite a few stuck in limbo there." Pibbers, who stood to my left, said.
"I agree." My voice came hollow, and unemotional.
"Then it is decided. We move into the high-school to free who we can, and destroy who we can't." Neenybelle said flatly, throwing her ragged black cloak over her shoulders.
We were only sixteen. The three of us had spent the last year fighting desperately against the invading force to gain a small strong hold in the middle of the town of Stillwater. A once beautiful mix of Victorian era homes and urban sprawl, now a town filled with the muck of evil.
...
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